同章对照

Nightfall was upon Rust Town when Ryan arrived at the orphanage. His good and unwilling friend Ghoul was trapped at the back, missing most of his limbs. Hopefully, his presence would get the Land off the courier’s back for the evening.

“I would take you out on a walk,” Ryan told his captive while stepping out of the car, “but I don’t think this place was built with the elderly in mind. Besides, the kids there are too old for you.”

“BLEEP you!” Ghoul snarled. “I swear I will—”

Ryan closed the car’s door behind him, the skeleton’s insults turning into muffled noises. Most of the animals were asleep in the big pen, a few dogs barking at the courier as if he were an intruder. Unlike his previous visit, the orphanage’s doors were closed, though Ryan could see light coming from inside.

The Genome knocked and waited. Eventually, a little girl in pink opened the door, raising a gun at his face. “What do you want, druggie?”

“Hi, little Sarah,” Ryan introduced himself. “Is your mama here?”

“How do you know my name?” she asked, looking at his hat. “You’re a magician?”

“Oh yes, I’m especially good with explosions and disappearing acts. Watch.” He stopped time and switched her crappy revolver with a Desert Eagle. “See?”

“So cool...” she said with admiration, examining her new toy as if it were a doll. “Is it loaded?”

“Yep, but I put the safety on. I can switch it for a shotgun, or pretty much any firearm.”

“You’re Mr. Ryan?” she asked him, the courier nodding. “Mama is inside. She said you would come.”

“Can I get in, or do I have to break my own hole?” he asked, pointing a finger at a broken window nearby.

“You can. But you do anything to Mama or the others, and I will disappear your face.” Ryan said nothing, making her frown. “That sounded way better in my head.”

“It comes with practice, my young punawan,” Ryan said, walking inside while she closed the door behind. From within, the orphanage looked as dilapidated as the outside, with wallpaper peeling from the walls, and only one lamp for two rooms. Sarah wagged her new toy at Ryan, guiding him through.

Now that he could take a good look inside, Ryan grew convinced that this place had been an animal shelter first, and repurposed into an orphanage years afterward. The kids had made bedrooms out of caged compartments originally meant for animals, half of them already sleeping or reading old books from Jules Verne; some of the children slept with a cat or dog under their bedsheets.

He found Len in the kitchen, cooking fish for a group of four kids gathered around a table.

His old friend wore the same brown diving suit as last time, and she kept the water gun in a corner of the room. The kitchen clearly lacked equipment, since Len used a camping stove for the meat.

She immediately froze still upon seeing him, Ryan removing his hat and mask like a true gentleman. “Riri,” she said.

“Who is this, ma?” Ryan recognized the speaker as the girl whom Psyshock tried to brainjack, Giulia. He examined her facial features, the vague shape of her skull, and a chill went down his spine.

Psyshock had a similar facial structure when he attacked Ryan at Shroud’s shack.

He also noticed the boy that had been playing with Sarah, before the Psychos attacked the area. His golden retriever waited at his side, looking at the dish while wagging his tail. “He looks weird…” he said, observing Ryan’s costume.

“He’s a magician,” Little Sarah showed them her Desert Eagle. “Look!”

“Sarah,” Len scolded her but took no step to remove the gun. “What did I tell you? Don’t point weapons around, especially not at strangers.”

“It’s fine, Ma, I know how to use them!” the little girl pouted in response.

“Yeah right, you can’t even hit a soda can at three meters,” a boy taunted her, Sarah pinching him in the arm. “It’s true!”

“Ryan, this is Sarah, Giulia, Romain, Albus, and Valeria,” Len made the introductions, before looking at the courier with a conflicted face. “Kids this is Ryan. He’s an old… an old friend.”

“Does he come from the magical place?” little Valeria asked, a dark-skinned brunette no older than twelve.

“You don’t talk about the magical place to strangers!” Sarah told her, the other girl putting her hands on her mouth. “Sorry, Ma.”

“It’s okay,” Len replied, putting a hand on Sarah’s shoulder. “Can you serve the food to the others and make sure everyone gets their share? I must talk with my friend.”

“Is he your friend or your boyfriend?” one of the boys pestered her. “I want to know!”

Len responded with a strained smile, while Ryan remained silent. If it had been anyone else, he would have cracked a joke, but he didn’t want to embarrass her. “I’ll be back soon,” Len promised, grabbing the water gun and leading the courier outside the kitchen. The kids looked at them with suspicion, Sarah clapping hands to get their attention.

Adorable.

“It’s nice, what you’re doing here,” the courier started, immediately finding his words awkward. Len had that effect on him nowadays, to the point he couldn’t do sarcasm in her presence.

The invisible barrier between them wouldn’t fall anytime soon.

“Thanks,” she said, embarrassed, before leading up towards a stairway. “We can go to the roof. They’ll listen through the door and pester us otherwise.”

Ryan was pretty sure they would follow and try to eavesdrop on them anyway. He knew children all too well; none of them could resist the lure of a magician’s hat.

Len led him to a door reaching the roof, locking it behind them. Ryan sat at the edge, his feet dangling into the void. His old friend glanced at him before sitting in the same position, albeit with two meters of distance and her water gun in hand.

For a moment, neither dared to break the ice, both glancing at the skies above. Even with the lights of New Rome and the polluted air, the stars shone as bright as ever. It made Ryan wonder if he should invest a few loops in researching how to build his own spaceship and explore the universe.

A ski vacation on Pluto sounded quite appealing.

“Kinda reminds you of the old days, doesn't it?” the courier spoke up first. “We always debated if there was sentient life out there.”

“I still think we’re alone in the universe,” she replied. “It’s all dark and cold beyond our little blue planet.”

“We aren’t alone,” Ryan argued back. “And if you ask me, the stars shine brighter still.”

She shifted uncomfortably on her spot. Ryan realized his attempt at small talk just made it awkward. “Did we...” Len trailed off, biting her lower lip. “Did we already have this conversation?”

So, she had taken him at his word. It seemed Len still trusted him somewhat, even after all this time. “We only talked once, in your house under the sea,” Ryan admitted. “You told me you didn’t want to see me after I led the Carnival to your dad, how you had known I was alive for two years, and that you had built your underwater base for Sarah and the others.”

“So it was true,” Len muttered to herself. “Time-travel. It’s… it’s possible since many Violets can alter spacetime on a limited basis. But… I still can’t grasp it. Do you travel physically? Or is it just information transfer?”

“I can mentally return to a point I fix at a specific moment, with my last one made a few hours ago,” the courier explained. “Only my consciousness travels back in time.”

“A save point, like in your video games?” Ryan had always loved playing with them, whenever he found a console that still worked. “Can you…”

“I can’t move my save point back into the past, no.” The courier shook his head. “When I create a new point, it erases the first. I wish I could save your father, save us, save the world, but I can’t. I can’t change the past, only the present, and future. What’s done is done.”

Len winced at his words. Ryan instantly regretted his bluntness, but he had to say it. He couldn’t let her get any false hope up. “How does it work?” she asked more questions. “You create or travel to alternate timelines?”

Ryan shook his head. “You know about Schrodinger’s Cat? The thought experiment? Some psychopath puts a cat in a black box, where the animal has a fifty-fifty percent chance of dying or surviving. As long as you don’t open the box to check the result, the cat is technically both alive and dead.”

“I heard of it,” Len replied. Of course she would, she read everything she could get her hands on. “I thought it was meant as a nonsensical joke towards quantum physics.”

“It was a joke. But as it turns out, I’m a cat, both alive and dead at once.”

Ryan joined his palms together as if holding something unseen. “That’s our spacetime continuum,” he explained. “It’s a black box where all of time and space happens. All moments in time, all possible timelines. Past, present, and future.”

“It’s too small to contain the whole universe,” Len replied, smiling thinly. The sight warmed Ryan’s heart; it appeared the children had a positive effect on her mood, compared to the last loop.

“You just have to fold it enough times.”

“But if our universe is the box, then does that mean there’s something outside it?”

“Yes.” Ryan nodded. “A dimension outside space and time, the observer’s dimension. Let's call it the Purple World.”

“The Purple World?” she frowned.

“I haven’t set on an exact name, but Purple World sounds nice.” Even Acid Rain seemed to agree. “The Purple World exists between all moments in time and points in space, though I only really affect the first part.”

Len listened without a word, trying to make sense out of his words. But she was smart, even without her power, and while it seemed outlandish, she agreed to entertain the theory.

“I actually exist at two points in time,” Ryan continued his explanation. “When I create a save point, I divide. One version of me exists in the Purple World, trapped between two seconds, and another me continues on; the person you’re facing right now. I’m both at once, and we share the same consciousness. You can say that my power is temporal bilocation.”

“So when you die, it’s like Schrodinger's cat,” Len’s expression changed into one of horror. “You’re alive and dead at once.”

“Yes, except that since my consciousness is spread between the two versions, I cheat. I collapse the timeline where I’m dead, and I create a new copy from my save point with the knowledge of the erased future. All events between the two points are undone.”

“But you don’t have to die to trigger that power, right?” Len asked, pleading. When Ryan didn’t answer, she put a hand on her mouth in horror. “How…”

“How many times?” Ryan shrugged. “Countless.”

“How can you say that?” Even with their troubled history, he could see the compassion in Len’s gaze. She had remained ever so kind. “The implications… it’s horrifying, Riri.”

“Well, my first few dozen times were terrifying,” Ryan admitted. “I went mad or catatonic from the stress a few times. But past the first thirty or so, it became normal, like taking a cold shower every day. You get used to everything, even death.”

It didn’t ease up her worries at all. If anything, Len grew even more concerned for him. “But since you exist in two time periods, some conceptual powers, White Genomes, or memory-altering attacks could affect both versions.”

“I suspect someone like Cancel, wait, do you know Cancel?” Len nodded. “Cancel would cause my power to unravel if I died in her vicinity. Obviously, I’m not going to tempt her.”

“And the stopping time? Did you take...” she stopped herself, the question going unsaid.

Did you take two Elixirs, like my father? Are you a Psycho?

“I only have the save point as my power,” Ryan reassured her. “The time stop is an application of it. I cause both of my divided selves to converge, and thus both our reality and the Purple World align. This creates a temporal anomaly where I’m the only one capable of applying force to objects, and my power protects me from the negative side-effects. It’s a pretty sweet deal. However, if I keep it up past a ten seconds limit—”

“The two versions of you fuse. You open the cat’s box and look inside.”

“Which always causes me an early restart, meow,” Ryan said, but she didn’t smile. “I’ve spent decades studying the Purple World, trying to see if I could use it to improve my power and make more than one save point.”

“Your Chronoradio, that’s why you made it?” she guessed, Ryan nodding in confirmation. “Did you succeed in physically entering that dimension?”

Ryan thought of the rabbit plushie. “Not really,” he replied, frowning at her. “By the way, how did you hack into the Chronoradio? Or knew I had one?”

She bit her lower lip. “I’ve… I’ve been…”

“You’ve been stalking me?”

“Watching you for a while,” Len replied while blushing, which made her look adorable. She immediately changed the subject. “That Purple World, are you the only one who can access it?”

“Some Violet Genomes can tap into its power.” That was the only explanation for Acid Rain’s abilities. “Maybe all Violet Genomes derive their abilities from it. A human body can’t do half the things a Violet Genome can, even while heavily mutated.”

Len fidgeted in place. “Riri, how old are you? It must have taken years, decades to figure all of that out.”

“I don’t know,” the courier admitted. He had long lost count. “Maybe I'm five hundred years old, or eight hundred. Maybe more.”

“And you’ve been looking for me all this time?” Now she sounded positively guilty and remorseful.

“You couldn’t know,” Ryan replied. He could never hold anything against her. “I thought you were dead or out of reach after the first decades, so I just wandered off trying new things. It’s only when I got my hands on a piece of your tech that I realized you were somewhere in New Rome.”

Len turned away, something appearing at the edge of her eyes.

“Shortie?” Ryan frowned, as he watched her hold back tears, “Len, are you crying?”

“I’m crying for you,” Len said, looking at him with clear guilt in her gaze. “You’ve been… you’ve spent centuries alone and I...”

“Len, I—” He raised his hand toward her.

She visibly flinched before he could touch her, making Ryan back away.

“I’m sorry,” Len repeated, feeling even more crushed. “Just… just give me time to process all of this. It’s… all of this at once, it’s too much. It’s too much at once, Riri.”

“It’s okay. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

He instantly regretted it saying that as Len’s face darkened even further. Goddammit, why did every word he spoke make things worse?

“Every time you die, everyone forgets you,” she said, wiping away the tears. “Over and over again.”

“Except you,” he replied. “You’re the only person who knew me before the time loop. I know that’s selfish, but...”

“You thought I was the only one who could make this eternity less lonely.” Len glanced at him with compassion. “Is there no way for someone to remember you? To replicate your power?”

“I can only carry my own mind through restarts, and in all these years, I haven’t found a technology or Genome capable of copying my power. Maybe I could have gotten more results if I crossed a few lines, but I had to keep some. The consequences don’t stay, but the memories do. And if I get used to bloodshed and brutality, I… I’m afraid of what I might become.”

“You’re afraid you will become like Dad,” she guessed, her gaze hollow.

Ryan didn’t want to say out loud, but yes, he was. Years around Bloodstream had given him a taste of what sociopathic brutality did to everyone, and how there was no coming back afterward. When you embraced the darkness, it followed you everywhere.

“Why not ask Dynamis?” Len asked, even if she clearly disliked the possibility. “They can copy powers.”

“Their knockoffs only get the ‘genetic’ part of powers, not whatever cosmic physics support them,” Ryan replied. That was why their potions were weaker than the original. A Firebrand Elixir allowed someone to produce fire using their own enhanced body’s calories, but a true Red Genome had access to a near-infinite power source. “I mean, unless they can somehow access the Purple World, a knockoff Elixir based on my genes won’t have any effect.”

His friend said nothing for a few seconds, before finally putting her water gun away and crossing her arms. He had already seen her in that position when she entered a Genius fugue state or thought of a new concept.

“It’s happening again,” Len lamented, as she failed to come up with an invention that might help Ryan’s case. “I can make wonders, but nothing that could help right now. Like Dad.”

“It’s fine.” Just the fact she wanted to help him at all made him feel happier. “Nobody can do everything, and you can do a lot already. Even Vulcan admires your work, and she has an ego the size of Saturn.”

She smiled, thinly, but it didn’t reach the eyes. “If you don’t think there is any solution, and that I will forget this conversation,” Len said, looking him dead in the eyes. “Why have it at all?”

Ah, the hard question.

“I don’t think there’s a solution, no, but I want one to exist. Vulcan is making progress on upgrading powers, and Mechron already could.” And there was an entire cache full of his technology below the earth. “Hope springs eternal, you know? Even if the chance is slim that I can make people remember me, and that we could make up… I want to try.”

She didn’t reply, her gaze thoughtful.

“Psyshock will attack this place in two days,” Ryan changed the subject.

“Why?” Len asked, more saddened than surprised. She must have expected something like that to happen since Big Fat Adam and his crew moved in.

“There’s a bunker full of Mechron tech below the Junkyard, and the Meta are trying to break in.” Her head immediately snapped at him in alarm. “I suppose Psyshock will try to collect the children when they run out of cannon fodder to throw at the defenses. And someone at Dynamis supplies them with knockoff Elixirs for a reason that escapes me.”

Her skin grew paler the more he spoke. “I’ll take care of this,” Ryan promised. “I did it before.”

“This city...” Len shook her head, glancing at Rust Town and New Rome beyond. “It’s never going to improve, no matter how much you try.”

“It can.”

“It was bad even before the Meta arrived,” she replied. “Dynamis, the Augusti, they’re all the same. They only care about money and power. I tried to make a difference, to help people, but… it’s just the way things are. This place isn’t New Rome, it’s the New Babylon.”

“It can improve,” Ryan insisted, pointing at the stars. “Len, all you see is the dark, but everywhere you look, there’s light.”

Len didn’t believe him. “We already argued about it,” she guessed.

“Yeah,” the courier admitted. “After our previous talk, I thought I could wipe out the Meta, honor some debts, maybe make the surface good enough that you would want to return.”

“You don’t have to,” she insisted. “Let the Meta and Augusti wipe each other out for all they care.”

“Len, we can’t let the Meta get their hands on Mechron’s weaponry,” Ryan argued back. “It will be the Genome Wars all over again.”

It would be Bloodstream on a countrywide scale.

“Riri, it’s going to destroy you,” she argued, a hint of desperation in her voice. “It already did. You… you aren’t stable at all, Riri. How many times did you fail?”

“Enough to succeed.”

She took his words in but offered none of her own. If anything, she seemed to withdraw even more.

“Well, sorry to burden you with all of this,” Ryan apologized, rising up until he stood dangerously close to the edge. One step and it would be a free-fall. “Thanks for listening, Shortie.”

“Where are you going?”

“There’s a nice hotel where I stay in the city center,” he replied, putting his mask and hat back on. “I need to go there so events proceed favorably.”

She considered his answer and then said. “No.”

Ryan froze still for a second. “No?”

“You can… you can stay here.” Len breathed long and deep. “It’s not comfortable, but… you can stay here for the night.”

“Len, I can’t. If I don’t go to the hotel, Wyvern and Vulcan won’t—”

“Stay here, Riri,” Len asked, looking up at him. This time, it wasn’t a proposal, but a request. “Please stay. This time.”

Ryan opened his mouth to protest, since it would throw his timing in jeopardy, but… when he looked at her pleading eyes, and the worry in them, his resistance melted away.

“Alright,” Ryan said. “I’ll stay.”

瑞恩抵达孤儿院时，夜幕已笼罩锈镇。他那位不情不愿的好朋友食尸鬼被困在车后面，四肢缺了大半。但愿有他在，今晚大地就不会再来找快递员的麻烦了。

“我倒想带你出去散散步，”瑞恩一边下车，一边对俘虏说，“不过我看这地方建的时候没考虑过老年人的需求。再说，这里的孩子对你而言都太老了。”

“去你——哔——的！”食尸鬼咆哮道，“我发誓，我一定会——”

瑞恩随手关上车门，骷髅的谩骂变成了闷闷的噪声。大围栏里的动物大多已经睡了，只有几条狗冲快递员吠叫，仿佛他是个入侵者。与上次来访不同，孤儿院的大门关着，不过瑞恩看得见里面透出的灯光。

他敲了敲门，等了一会儿。终于，一个穿粉色衣服的小女孩打开门，举枪对准了他的脸。“你想干什么，瘾君子？”

“嗨，小莎拉，”瑞恩打了个招呼，“你妈妈在吗？”

“你怎么知道我的名字？”她问，目光落在他的帽子上，“你是魔术师？”

“当然，我特别擅长爆炸和大变活人。看好了。”他暂停时间，把她那把破左轮换成了一把沙漠之鹰。“看见没？”

“好酷……”她赞叹着，像端详洋娃娃一样打量起新玩具。“装子弹了吗？”

“装了，不过保险关着。我还能给你换成霰弹枪，基本上什么枪都行。”

“你是瑞恩先生？”她问。快递员点了点头。“妈妈在里面。她说你会来。”

“我能进去吗，还是得自己砸个洞？”他指着旁边一扇破窗问。

“可以。但你要敢对妈妈或其他人做什么，我就把你的脸变没。”瑞恩没说话，她皱起了眉。“在我脑子里，这句话明明听着帅多了。”

“多练练就好了，我年轻的双关绝地学徒。”瑞恩说着走了进去，她在身后关上门。孤儿院里面和外面一样破败，墙纸剥落，两个房间总共只有一盏灯。莎拉冲瑞恩晃了晃新玩具，领着他往里走。

这回总算能仔细看看内部，瑞恩越发确信，这地方最初是间动物收容所，过了好些年才改成孤儿院。孩子们把原本关动物的笼舍改作卧室，一半的孩子已经睡了，或是在读儒勒·凡尔纳的旧书；还有些孩子和猫狗一起钻在被窝里睡觉。

他在厨房找到了蕾恩。四个孩子围坐在桌边，她正给他们做鱼吃。

老朋友穿着和上次一样的棕色潜水服，水枪搁在房间角落。厨房显然缺少炊具，因为蕾恩正用一只露营炉烹煮鱼肉。

一看见他，她立刻僵在原地。瑞恩像个真正的绅士那样摘下帽子和面具。“瑞瑞。”她说。

“妈，这是谁？”瑞恩认出了说话的女孩，朱莉娅，心震曾试图侵占她的大脑。他端详着她的五官，还有头骨隐约的轮廓，脊背不由得一阵发冷。

心震在裹尸布的小屋袭击瑞恩时，脸部结构就和她很相似。

他还看见了那个男孩——疯魔们袭击这一带之前，他一直在和莎拉玩。那只金毛寻回犬守在他身旁，望着饭菜摇尾巴。“他看起来怪怪的……”男孩打量着瑞恩的装束，说道。

“他是魔术师。”小莎拉向他们展示自己的沙漠之鹰，“看！”

“莎拉，”蕾恩责备道，却没有上前收走枪，“我怎么跟你说的？别拿武器到处乱指，尤其不能指着陌生人。”

“没事的，妈，我会用！”小女孩噘着嘴回答。

“是啊是啊，你连三米外的汽水罐都打不中。”一个男孩取笑她，莎拉在他胳膊上掐了一下。“本来就是！”

“瑞恩，这几位是莎拉、朱莉娅、罗曼、阿不思，还有瓦莱里娅。”蕾恩逐一介绍，随后神情复杂地望向快递员。“孩子们，这位是瑞恩。他是个老……老朋友。”

“他是从那个神奇的地方来的吗？”小瓦莱里娅问。她是个肤色黝黑、留着棕发的女孩，最多十二岁。

“不能跟陌生人提那个神奇的地方！”莎拉提醒她，对方连忙用双手捂住嘴。“对不起，妈。”

“没关系。”蕾恩说，把手搭在莎拉肩上。“你能帮大家盛饭，确保每个人都有份吗？我得和朋友谈谈。”

“他是你朋友，还是男朋友？”一个男孩缠着她问，“我想知道嘛！”

蕾恩勉强笑了笑，瑞恩则一言不发。换成别人，他早就开玩笑了，可他不想让她难堪。“我很快回来。”蕾恩答应道，拿起水枪，领着快递员走出厨房。孩子们狐疑地看着两人，莎拉拍了拍手，把他们的注意力引了回去。

真可爱。

“你在这里做的事，真挺好的。”快递员开了口，立刻觉得自己说得很别扭。如今蕾恩就是能让他变成这样，甚至连挖苦人的话都说不出来。

他们之间那道无形的隔阂，一时半会儿是消不掉的。

“谢谢。”她有些不好意思，随后领他走向楼梯。“我们可以去屋顶。不然他们会贴在门上偷听，还会缠着我们问个没完。”

瑞恩很确定，就算这样，他们还是会跟过来，想办法偷听。他太了解小孩子了，没一个能抵挡魔术师帽子的诱惑。

蕾恩带他穿过通往屋顶的门，反手锁上。瑞恩在屋顶边缘坐下，双脚悬在半空。老朋友看了他一眼，也像他一样坐下来，不过隔了两米，手里还握着水枪。

有那么一会儿，谁也不敢打破沉默，两人都仰望着天空。即使有新罗马的灯光和污浊的空气，群星仍旧和往常一样明亮。这让瑞恩不禁琢磨，要不要花几轮循环，研究一下怎么造出自己的飞船，去探索宇宙。

去冥王星滑雪度假，听起来挺诱人的。

“有点像以前，是吧？”快递员先开了口，“我们那时总争论，外面到底有没有智慧生命。”

“我还是觉得，宇宙里只有我们。”她回答，“离开我们这颗小小的蓝色星球，外面就只有黑暗和寒冷。”

“我们并不孤单。”瑞恩反驳，“而且要我说，星光仍然更胜一筹。”

她不自在地挪了挪身子。瑞恩意识到，自己这番寒暄只是让气氛变得更尴尬了。“我们是不是……”蕾恩话说到一半，咬住下唇。“我们是不是已经谈过这些了？”

看来，她信了他的话。即使过了这么久，蕾恩似乎仍然对他保留着几分信任。“我们只谈过一次，在你海底的家里。”瑞恩承认道，“你说，自从我把嘉年华引到你爸爸那里，你就不想再见我了。你还说，你两年前就知道我还活着，你建那座水下基地，是为了莎拉他们。”

“所以是真的。”蕾恩喃喃自语，“时间旅行。这……这确实有可能，毕竟不少紫系基因者都能在有限范围内改变时空。可是……我还是理解不了。是你的身体在穿越？还是只有信息传输？”

“我可以在某个特定时刻设下一个点，然后让意识回到那里。最近的那个点，是几小时前设下的。”快递员解释道，“只有我的意识会回到过去。”

“存档点，就像你那些电子游戏里一样？”只要能找到还能用的游戏机，瑞恩向来都很爱玩。“那你能不能……”

“我不能把存档点往过去挪，不行。”快递员摇了摇头，“新建一个存档点，就会抹掉前一个。我也希望能救你爸爸，救我们，救整个世界，可我做不到。我改变不了过去，只能改变现在和未来。发生过的事，就是发生了。”

蕾恩被这番话刺痛了。瑞恩立刻后悔自己说得太直白，但他必须说清楚，不能让她抱着不切实际的希望。“它是怎么运作的？”她继续问，“你是在创造另一条时间线，还是穿越到别的时间线？”

瑞恩摇头。“你知道薛定谔的猫吗？那个思想实验。某个变态把一只猫放进黑箱里，这只动物有一半概率死，一半概率活。只要不打开箱子确认结果，从理论上说，那只猫就既活着又死了。”

“听说过。”蕾恩回答。她当然听过，凡是能弄到手的书，她都会读。“我以为那是个荒诞的笑话，拿来讽刺量子物理学的。”

“原本是个笑话。可结果呢，我就是一只同时既活着又死了的猫。”

瑞恩双手合拢，仿佛捧着某种看不见的东西。“这就是我们的时空连续体。”他解释，“这是一个黑箱，所有时间和空间都在里面展开。每一个时刻，每一条可能的时间线。过去、现在，还有未来。”

“太小了，装不下整个宇宙。”蕾恩回答，露出一丝浅笑。瑞恩看得心头一暖。比起上一轮循环，孩子们似乎让她的心情好了不少。

“多折几次就装得下了。”

“可如果我们的宇宙就是那个箱子，是不是意味着，箱子外面还有东西？”

“是的。”瑞恩点头，“一个处于时间和空间之外的维度，观察者所在的维度。姑且叫它紫色世界吧。”

“紫色世界？”她皱起眉。

“确切的名字还没定，不过紫色世界听着不错。”连酸雨似乎也这么想。“紫色世界存在于所有时间节点和空间坐标之间，不过我真正能影响的，只有前者。”

蕾恩一言不发地听着，试图理解他的话。即便没有超能力，她也很聪明。这套理论虽然听着离奇，她仍愿意认真考虑。

“实际上，我同时存在于两个时间点。”瑞恩继续解释，“创建存档点时，我会一分为二。一个我存在于紫色世界，被困在两秒之间；另一个我则继续往前走，也就是现在坐在你面前的这个人。我同时是这两个人，我们共享同一个意识。你可以把我的能力叫作时间双重存在。”

“所以当你死去时，就和薛定谔的猫一样。”蕾恩的神情变得惊恐，“你同时既活着，又死了。”

“没错，不过我的意识分布在两个我身上，所以我可以作弊。我让自己已经死亡的那条时间线坍塌，再从存档点创造一个新的副本，带着被抹去的未来里的知识。两个时间点之间发生的一切，都会被撤销。”

“但你不一定非得死才能触发能力，对吧？”蕾恩的语气近乎恳求。瑞恩没有回答，她惊恐地捂住嘴。“多少……”

“多少次？”瑞恩耸耸肩，“数不清了。”

“你怎么能说得这么轻松？”尽管他们之间有过种种纠葛，他仍能看出蕾恩眼里的怜惜。她还是那么善良。“这背后意味着什么……太可怕了，瑞瑞。”

“嗯，头几十次确实很吓人。”瑞恩承认，“有几次压力太大，我不是发疯，就是陷入木僵状态。不过熬过最初三十来次，也就习以为常了，和每天洗冷水澡差不多。什么都能习惯，连死也是。”

这番话丝毫没能让她放心，反而让蕾恩更担忧了。“可既然你存在于两个时段，有些概念性能力、白色基因者，或者改变记忆的攻击，就可能同时影响到两个你。”

“我怀疑消除者那样的人——等等，你知道消除者吗？”蕾恩点头。“如果我死在她附近，她会让我的能力瓦解。当然，我不会去招惹她。”

“那暂停时间呢？你是不是喝了……”她收住话头，没有把问题问出口。

你是不是和我爸爸一样，喝了两瓶灵药？你是疯魔吗？

“我的能力只有存档点。”瑞恩安慰她，“暂停时间只是它的一种用法。我让分开的两个自己趋于重合，于是我们的现实也与紫色世界对齐。这会产生一种时间异常，只有我能对物体施加力，而我的能力会保护我，免受不良副作用的影响。相当划算。不过，如果我持续使用，超过十秒的上限——”

“两个你就会融为一体。你打开了装猫的箱子，往里面看。”

“结果总是让我提前重来一轮，喵。”瑞恩说，可她没有笑。“我花了几十年研究紫色世界，想看看能不能利用它改进能力，弄出不止一个存档点。”

“所以你才造了时空收音机？”她猜道，瑞恩点头确认。“你成功让身体进入那个维度了吗？”

瑞恩想起了那只毛绒兔子。“不算成功。”他答道，随即皱眉看着她。“说起来，你怎么黑进时空收音机的？又怎么知道我有这么个东西？”

她咬住下唇。“我……我一直在……”

“你一直在跟踪我？”

“关注你，有一阵子了。”蕾恩红着脸回答，那模样十分可爱。她立刻转移了话题。“那个紫色世界，只有你能接触到吗？”

“有些紫系基因者也能借用它的力量。”只有这样才能解释酸雨的能力。“或许所有紫系基因者的能力都来自那里。就算严重变异，紫系基因者能做的事，人体也连一半都办不到。”

蕾恩坐立不安。“瑞瑞，你到底多大了？弄明白这一切，肯定花了好些年，甚至几十年。”

“不知道。”快递员承认。他早就数不清了。“也许五百岁，也许八百岁。也可能更老。”

“这么长时间，你一直在找我？”这下，她的声音里满是愧疚和懊悔。

“你不可能知道这些。”瑞恩回答。他永远也没办法怨她。“最初几十年过去后，我以为你已经死了，或是去了我找不到的地方，于是就四处游荡，试些新鲜事物。直到弄到了一件你造的设备，我才意识到，你就在新罗马的某个地方。”

蕾恩别过脸，眼角泛起了一点水光。

“小矮个？”瑞恩看着她强忍泪水，皱起了眉。“蕾恩，你哭了？”

“我是在为你哭。”蕾恩看着他，眼里的愧疚清晰可见。“你一直……你一个人过了几百年，而我……”

“蕾恩，我——”他朝她伸出手。

还没碰到她，她就明显瑟缩了一下，瑞恩只好退开。

“对不起。”蕾恩又说了一遍，整个人愈发难受。“只是……给我一点时间，消化这些。一下子……一下子知道这么多，太多了。一下子全压过来，我受不了，瑞瑞。”

“没事。我们有的是时间。”

蕾恩的脸色越发黯淡，他立刻后悔说了这句话。该死，为什么他每说一句，事情就更糟一点？

“每次你死去，所有人都会忘记你。”她擦去眼泪，“一遍，又一遍。”

“你除外。”他回答，“你是唯一一个在时间循环之前就认识我的人。我知道这很自私，可……”

“你以为，只有我能让这段永恒不那么孤独。”蕾恩怜惜地看了他一眼。“难道就没有办法让别人记住你吗？不能复制你的能力吗？”

“重新开始时，我只能带上自己的意识。这么多年，我没找到任何一种技术，也没找到任何一个基因者，能复制我的能力。也许越过几条底线，就能多些成果，可总有些底线我得守住。后果不会留下，记忆却会。如果我习惯了流血和暴行，我……我害怕自己会变成什么样。”

“你怕自己变得和爸爸一样。”她猜道，目光空洞。

瑞恩不想说出口，但没错，他确实害怕。在血流身边待的那些年，让他见识过毫无人性的残暴会给所有人带来什么，又是怎样令人再也无法回头。一旦拥抱了黑暗，它就会跟着你，形影不离。

“为什么不去问迪纳米斯？”蕾恩问，尽管她显然不喜欢这个选项。“他们能复制能力。”

“他们的仿制品只能复制能力的‘遗传’部分，复制不了背后支撑它的那些宇宙物理机制。”瑞恩回答。这就是他们的药剂不如原版的原因。火种灵药能让服用者消耗强化身体内的热量，制造火焰，但真正的红系基因者却能接入近乎无穷无尽的能量源。“也就是说，除非他们能设法接触紫色世界，否则以我的基因为基础制造的仿制灵药，不会有任何效果。”

他的朋友沉默了几秒，终于放下水枪，抱起双臂。他见过她摆出这个姿势，往往是在进入天才神游状态，或是构思新概念的时候。

“又是这样。”蕾恩苦涩地说，她没能想出什么发明，可以帮瑞恩摆脱困境。“我能创造奇迹，却造不出任何能解决眼下问题的东西。就像爸爸那时一样。”

“没关系。”单是她愿意帮他，就已经让他开心了些。“没人能无所不能，而你能做的已经很多了。连伏尔甘都很欣赏你的作品，要知道，她的自我膨胀得有土星那么大。”

她淡淡笑了一下，眼里却没有笑意。“如果你不认为有解决的办法，又知道我会忘记这次谈话，”蕾恩直视着他的眼睛问，“那为什么还要谈？”

啊，难题来了。

“没错，我不觉得有办法，但我希望有。伏尔甘在提升能力的研究上有了进展，而梅克隆早就能办到。”况且，地下还有整整一座装满他技术成果的宝库。“希望总是生生不息，不是吗？哪怕能让别人记住我、让我们重归于好的机会很渺茫……我也想试试。”

她没有回答，目光若有所思。

“两天后，心震会袭击这里。”瑞恩换了个话题。

“为什么？”蕾恩问，听起来与其说惊讶，不如说难过。自从大胖亚当和他那伙人搬来，她大概就料到会有这种事。

“废料场下面有座地堡，里面全是梅克隆的技术，超能帮正想办法攻进去。”她立刻警觉地转头望向他。“我猜，等他们耗光了用来冲击防御设施的炮灰，心震就会来抓孩子。还有，迪纳米斯里有人在给他们供应仿制灵药，原因我还不清楚。”

他说得越多，她的脸就越苍白。“我会处理的。”瑞恩保证，“我以前办到过。”

“这座城市……”蕾恩摇了摇头，望向锈镇和更远处的新罗马。“无论你怎么努力，它都不会变好的。”

“会的。”

“超能帮来之前，这里就已经很糟了。”她回答，“迪纳米斯、奥古斯蒂，他们全都一样。只在乎金钱和权力。我试过改变一些事，试过帮助别人，可……世道就是这样。这地方不是什么新罗马，是新巴比伦。”

“会变好的。”瑞恩坚持道，指向群星。“蕾恩，你眼里只有黑暗，可无论望向哪里，都有光。”

蕾恩不相信他。“我们已经为这事争论过了。”她猜道。

“是啊。”快递员承认，“上次谈完之后，我想，我可以消灭超能帮，还清一些人情债，或许能把地面变得足够好，好到让你愿意回来。”

“你不必这么做。”她坚持道，“超能帮和奥古斯蒂要互相杀光，就随他们去好了。”

“蕾恩，我们不能让超能帮拿到梅克隆的武器。”瑞恩反驳，“那会让基因者战争重演。”

那就是把血流造成的灾难，放大到整个国家。

“瑞瑞，这会毁掉你的。”她争辩道，声音里透着一丝绝望。“其实已经毁了。你……你的精神状态一点也不稳定，瑞瑞。你到底失败过多少次？”

“足够让我成功了。”

她听进去了，却没有接话。倒不如说，她似乎把自己封闭得更深了。

“好了，抱歉把这些都压给你。”瑞恩道歉，起身站到了屋顶边缘，近得令人心惊。只消一步，就会直坠下去。“谢谢你听我说，小矮个。”

“你要去哪儿？”

“市中心有家不错的酒店，我住那儿。”他回答，重新戴上面具和帽子。“我得过去，事情才能往有利的方向发展。”

她想了想他的回答，然后说：“不行。”

瑞恩愣了一下。“不行？”

“你可以……你可以留下来。”蕾恩缓缓深吸了一口气。“这里不太舒服，可是……今晚你可以住在这里。”

“蕾恩，我不能。如果不去酒店，双足飞龙和伏尔甘就不会——”

“留下吧，瑞瑞。”蕾恩抬头望着他。这一次不是提议，而是请求。“请你留下。这一次。”

瑞恩张嘴想反对，这会打乱他的时间安排，可是……看见她眼中的恳求与担忧，他所有的抗拒都消融了。

“好吧。”瑞恩说，“我留下。”